Day 4 of chemotherapy and I have been blessed with no bad reactions to the cocktail of drugs that flow into my veins 24 hours a day. Unless you count the 18 pounds of fluid that have accumulated around my belly. 18 POUNDS!!!
That extra umbilical chord is a tube that drains other fluids from around my heart into a plastic bottle shaped like a grenade. It hangs like an annoying nut sack below my waist and the doctor won’t remove it until it only produces 30 ml of fluid in a 24-hour period. Several times now I’ve woken up and realized that what I thought was another bout of night sweats was actually that disgusting Kool-aid-like fluid sticking to my pajamas because I accidentally popped the cap off the bottle in my sleep. That’s happened more than once! I’ve started taping it shut now.
That fluid is the result of the tumor that lingers near my right lung like the weirdo at a party that wasn’t invited by anyone. My doctors say my violent coughing fits are a sign that the tumor is already shrinking because my lungs are getting more air. I’d cheers to that if I could take a breath long enough to do so.
So this is the first of six chemo treatments. Each time I’ll spend five days in the hospital hooked up to an IV. It’s rather anti-climactic. Just a lot of reading, staring at the wall, sending reassuring texts to family and friends who can’t be here and making small-talk with those who are. Then I’ll go home for 7 to 10 days of what doctors are warning could be a misery worse than any hell that even Stephen King could imagine. They don’t say it like that, but that’s how I picture it in my head. What they say instead is, “You COULD experience nausea.” Or, “You COULD get mouth sores that run down your throat and into your stomach.” Or, “You MAY not even experience any symptoms at all!!!” They claim that sometimes happens. I‘ll let you know if I‘m one of the lucky ones.
What doctors do seem certain about is that I will feel extremely fatigued. I’m already starting to feel it. It’s giving me an awesome excuse to lay around in bed and sleep all day. You’d think that would get old but, eh, hasn’t happened yet! Then after the 7 to 10 days of supposed “hell” are over I will have six or seven days where I will allegedly feel great! That’s when it’s best to have visitors. Then I come back in for another five days of chemo. There’s no telling when my hair will start to fall out. One doctor says in three weeks I’ll notice an uncomfortable feeling in my head as clumps start to come out. Another doctor says it may not happen for a few months. They all try to keep it positive by saying, “And some people don’t lose their hair at all!” Again, I’ll let you know if I’m one of the lucky ones.
Oh, and another side effect? Remember that 18 pounds of fluid I mentioned earlier? It’s starting to drain. The typical way. Through my bladder. I’ve gone to the bathroom 11 times since I sat down to write this. I’m two bathroom breaks away from buying Depends.
72 comments
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March 23, 2013 at 11:18 pm
Ann Leer
I think your writing is inspiring and educational for all of us, especially to those that are going through the same type of treatments. Jessica, we send you love, Ann P.S. you look great ❤🌸🌷🌺🌹🌻🍁🌻🍄🌞🌼🐶
March 23, 2013 at 11:21 pm
Diana Young Dunham
you are an inspiration to everyone! Thank you for your upbeat post.. thinking of you!
March 23, 2013 at 11:26 pm
Pietrina
Thinking of you and hope your journey is an easy one, God bless ❤
March 23, 2013 at 11:28 pm
Verlina
Jess, I am so sorry that you are facing this!
You are one amazing lady though and I love your lightheartedness and humor through it all. I love the attitude you in spite of this curve ball you’ve been thrown.
Remember that you are not SUPERWOMAN (though you’d like to believe you are!) … it’s ok to fear, to question, to wonder. It’s okay to cry, to pout, to find the humor in things and to laugh about and at yourself. It’s also okay to show every other emotion you feel… anger, sadness, pity parties, happiness, love, frustration, doubt, fear in the procedures and diagnoses, joy in the milestones reached…
You are a m a z i n g ! ! ! !
You are in my families prayers. I have no doubt in my mind that you will come through this on top… keep looking up, God is going to show you something amazing that you will never forget and never doubt that it was only through HIS miracle that HE did it in you!
Love you girl!
-Verlina
March 23, 2013 at 11:30 pm
Edward Gault
We are rooting for you. Keep the good attitude!
March 23, 2013 at 11:30 pm
Andrea
Stay positive Depends are buy one get one free.
March 23, 2013 at 11:31 pm
Pat Myers
Jess, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Get well fast and keep your positive attitude! You are truly beautiful inside and out. Miss you in the mornings.
March 23, 2013 at 11:35 pm
Tim W
Jessica, you don’t know me, like a passerby in the hallway of that hospital which I guess gives you mixed feelings, I digress, reading what you’re going through, I can’t imagine, and at the same time being in my 50’s, I would gladly trade places with you, you have so much to accomplish yet, while I’ve already had my most memorable experiences. Nevertheless, thoughts and prayers are with you. Btw my hairs not something I would mind giving up, Take Care and be well.
Tim
March 23, 2013 at 11:39 pm
Jennifer Maier
you go girl!! Keep up the good work!!!
March 23, 2013 at 11:40 pm
Dylan Masterson
You’re one tough lady 🙂
Still rooting for you all the way from Ireland.
Be well soon xx
March 23, 2013 at 11:46 pm
Jordan Early
You’re such an inspiration Jess ❤
March 23, 2013 at 11:47 pm
John Soros
I am sad that you are ill but the trooper that you are will get you thru this!!
Get well soon my friend!!
God Bless. xoxoxo
March 23, 2013 at 11:52 pm
Jackie B
Your sense of humor is awesome! Wishing you a speedy recovery!
March 23, 2013 at 11:53 pm
Ann Carrigan
Wow, thanks for sharing this with the many of us who wish you well. We miss you!
March 24, 2013 at 12:00 am
Jaadee
Thank you and the Local 6⃣ morning news team for your openness … So many times, our fave celebrities go thru stuff and we never know, or the process is hidden from us out here! So thank you for letting us in, and allowing us to know what we can pray about! Blessings!
March 24, 2013 at 12:10 am
Joey
Wishing you all the best Jessica my prayers are with you.
BIGGGG HUGGGG feel better.
March 24, 2013 at 12:21 am
Paul
God bless you Jessica. All of your viewers and fans are rooting for you and you will kick cancer right in the arse! Hmmm, I wonder what that dog is up to while you’re away?
March 24, 2013 at 12:33 am
walt yeomans
get well soon we have so many friends and family fighting cancer
March 24, 2013 at 12:34 am
Debbie
My heart breaks for you, Jess, for having to go through something like this. Keep up the good spirits. It will definitely help. You’re in my prayers every day. Hang in there! Hugs! xoxo
March 24, 2013 at 12:38 am
Thomas Smith
Jess, Your’e too cool. I’m here in Palm Bay Fl. with my younger sister Arla Tweedy, cancer survivor. Breast Cancer, she lost both. Chemo took it’s toll, mostly on her memory, I’m here to help out .. Not married, no children, I’m lucky for that I guess. She’s OK now, most of the time. Your’e beautiful AND smart, don’t you dare give up Jess. There will be hard times, but remember this wer’e all here to support you. Love you Jess Smitty in Palm Bay…
March 24, 2013 at 12:39 am
Sheryl Meyers
Thinking of you Jess. Stay strong! When you are ready for some Peanut Butter Cheese Cake, please let me know and I am ready to make it for you!
March 24, 2013 at 12:43 am
Carol Broughton
Hi Jess,
I hope you know that lots of people are holding you close in positive thoughts and prayers. I miss seeing you in the morning while I get ready for work, but it’s great that you are always mentioned by your colleagues. Stay strong and positive and let us know how you are doing.
March 24, 2013 at 12:47 am
Racquel Asa
Hey Jess, we’ve never met, but I’m your fellow traffic Filipino buddy at WFTV.
First off, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in your recovery. High spirits are the best medicine, which you seem to have a lot of.
Secondly, your are truly a GREAT writer! I mean that! I enjoy your sarcasm, humor and seriousness. You should consider writing a book. Therapy for the soul and mind.
Best of luck!
BTW, your American Idol Jessica Sanchez “twin” has a great new song out with Ne-yo. Thought you would enjoy. Lol
Racquel Asa
March 24, 2013 at 12:55 am
Ronda Grant
Jessica, one treatment down, just a few more to go…hang in there! We know you can do it and come back on top. You are in our thoughts and prayers. – Ronda and Ed Grant
March 24, 2013 at 1:00 am
tawny harris
I hate seeing you go through this and you are a inspiration to others and i miss watching you in the mornings getting everyone ready for work and school. You are so strong and brave and can’t wait for you to beat this and get back on tv already 🙂 we miss you and love you Jess!!!
March 24, 2013 at 1:04 am
Amy Hadley
Glad to see you have a sense of humor…..it helps. Hang in there. We are rooting for you.
March 24, 2013 at 1:13 am
Kenneth Tomory
Stay strong my dear and keep that sense of humor. Just know there a lot of us out here pulling and praying for you and a speedy recovery. God Bless You and stay positive, though it may be difficult at times.
March 24, 2013 at 1:15 am
Wanda
You are a very strong young lady and a inspiration for many others, God bless you always!!
March 24, 2013 at 1:22 am
Kathy H.
Jessica, you are so funny! Love the Depends comment. Thanks for sharing what you are going through. It is really helping me. Just found out that I have MGUS. The future doesn’t look so great. I dread finding out what my blood count is next month. I have been told that I will have to go through chemo, and bone marrow transplants (my own marrow) for the rest of my life–just trying to stay ahead of the game. You are really an inspiration!!! You give me hope. Thanks for everything!!!!!
March 24, 2013 at 1:23 am
Donna Green
Hi Jessica. Wow. Its’s funny how all doctor’s and nurses have the same “lines” about what chemo will do to your body. I am being treated for stage three ovarian cancer. My treatments are in three week cycles, with the first week two medicines, and then the second and third week one medicine. I go once a week. This for a total of 18 treatments which takes me to May 27th. My hair fell out during the third week of treatment. I washed it and it just kept coming out in clumps so I had my girlfriend/stylist just shave it off. You think you are prepared for being bald, but I cried. Then I got over myself, and I purchased two beautiful wigs, lots of really cute hats and scarves. There are some really great websites for ordering these items. The American Cancer Society’s is http://www.tlc.org. Another one is http://www.chemobeanies.com. There is also http://www.choosehope.com. I have ordered hats, scarves, bracelets, ribbons, etc. from all of these websites and have been really happy with them. I won’t lie. My first week of treatment was awful. I got really sick, but thankfully my doctor and the nurses kept trying different meds to combat the sickness and its under control now. But, every time I begin a new cycle and receive the two meds, I have a rough week. The tiredness is horrible. You feel like the life is being sucked out of you. All you want to do is sleep, and you should. It’s so hard from going to being an active person to one that has no energy at all. Obviously, everyone’s treatment is set up for them and their cancer. When I was diagnosed with stage one lung cancer in 2011, I was actually lucky because it had not spread and I did not need treatment. Not so lucky with the ovarian cancer. I have, however, kept my eyelashes and eyebrows which makes putting makeup on so much nicer. Don’t know how that happened, but I’m not complaining.
I believe in the power of positive thinking and prayer, and I know it is working because my blood work numbers have been going down since I began treatment. If you are a religious person, there is a patron saint of cancer patients you may want to look up. His name is Saint Peregrine. He is known as the Cancer Saint. Well, I am keeping you in my prayers Jessica, and I look forward to your updates. Stay strong and positive.
A fellow cancer patient.
Donna Green
March 24, 2013 at 1:28 am
Israel
We pray for you everyday and believe that God will see you through this journey! You are awesome! Please let us know if there’s anything we can do for you or your family!
March 24, 2013 at 4:02 am
David Ivie
Amen!
March 24, 2013 at 1:37 am
Larry Nielsen
So many things come to mind, but the only thing that is important is we love you Jessica!
March 24, 2013 at 1:44 am
June
Jessica you are a inspiration to me… your attitude is amazing. I am praying for you and all I can say is we miss you. The traffic report is not the same without you. You have many people behind you so you are not alone even though you may think that. Keep up your spirit I know God is with you… and all your friends and family. We love you ….. get better soon. – June 🙂
March 24, 2013 at 2:06 am
Debbie
Stay strong! stay positive! You will be one of the lucky ones!!!!
March 24, 2013 at 4:01 am
David Ivie
You don’t know me. David Martinez Is my best friend. Anyway I’m praying for U!
Thanks for sharing your journey thru the valley of death. Inspirational and real.
So sorry your have to go through this. I apologize if this is just plain weird.
Genuinely sincere
David
March 24, 2013 at 7:32 am
Bill Lundell
Youre a real trooper Jess and why I give blood.Keep up the humorous and realistic attitudes.Thanx for you show me the ole addage,If you put one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow you crap all over today.Keep up the fight…Bill Lundell
March 24, 2013 at 9:08 am
george mac donald
You are a very strong woman….and God is on your side…I feel for you….my wife is a cancer survivor…..and she had colon cancer 15 years ago…..she had kemo and radiation…..and today she is fine…..I am praying for you…..I have been having a hard time of it also….I am having seizures…and the doctors…can’t seem to tell me why….Feel free to contact me at any time…and we can compare notes…..Hang in there…We Love You
March 24, 2013 at 9:26 am
BARBARA MORLEY
God Bless!!!!
________________________________
March 24, 2013 at 10:21 am
Terri-Ann "Mama T." Tardif
Hi Jessica.
Just learned of your struggles last week thru Lauren and the Local 6 crew. I’m terribly saddened for you and you loved ones. I write this while I’m lying in the hospital myself. I want you know my prayers and thoughts are with you and that Gods.got you. You look great and because you’re tough, I’m sure your gonna get thru this in no time. Just know that you’ve got alot of people that admire and adore you. Wishing you the very best.
Much love,
Mama T. , Founder
Mama T’z Military Guardian Angel, Inc.
March 24, 2013 at 10:50 am
Jennifer Lee
you are such a rockstar Jessica! #GO girlfriend – we are all cheering for you. xoxoxo
March 24, 2013 at 11:18 am
Devi Roach
Jess~~I am at a loss for words. My heart is aching for you and what you are going through. Your spirit is amazing and I pray daily for your full recovery.
I, too, miss you in the mornings. In fact, I can’t even watch channel 6 news anymore…it’s just not the same. After Loren left mornings…and then Erik left, you were the only bright spot to remain. Now, without you, I feel it’s just a bunch of strangers the I don’t care to know.
I pray God helps you through this ordeal and you come out smiling on the other side. I love reading your blog and hope it helps you by writing it. I know the love and prayers of us who read it will certainly help.
May God bless you, sweet girl,
Devi
March 24, 2013 at 11:58 am
Marian Knop Elavsky
Jessica: Miss you in the mornings. Your good spirit during this time is very inspiring. I don’t pray a lot, but when I do, I will remember you. I know you’ll get through this ordeal with flying colors. It sucks that you might lose your beautiful hair, but it will grow back. Keep up with the positive thoughts and will be sending more good thoughts your way.
March 24, 2013 at 1:04 pm
Ray Lonsdale
Greg didn’t know this at the time but between you and me, I was wearing a Depends for my interview at EA;) Hang in there Jess!
March 24, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Debbie Willis
Jessica my prayers are with you. We will hope that you are one of the lucky ones. I say if you loose your hair the morning crew should shave their heads in support. You are missed on air but we know you will be back good as new. Good luck.
March 24, 2013 at 1:53 pm
Amy Peters
Jessica, God Bless you, you are a tremendously strong person who I admire greatly. Your spirit and your attitude lift us up, when we should be lifting you up. Our prayers and thoughts are with you daily. Looking forward to seeing you in the mornings again.
March 24, 2013 at 1:57 pm
Jim Venedam
I’m not a morning news person, but know who you are. (That’s not as ominous as it sounded).Julie’s FB note is the first time I knew you were sick. I’m sorry to hear that. I hate that people have to be hospitalized for anything bigger than a kidney stone.
If the nausea comes, remember that John Morgan is fighting for medical MJ “FOR the people”
I’ll be praying that you have no, or minimum side affects.I’m trying to remember a book I read a long time ago, how laughter is a huge healing tool. You should ask the station to stream The Three Stooges into your room 24/7
Good luck, heal fast.
Jim
March 24, 2013 at 2:00 pm
Ed Sigman
I remember the drain tube I had after they took the mass out if my neck. Wasn’t fun. I was able to use a bobie pin to attach to my shirt. Had it open a couple of times. The tape helps. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
March 24, 2013 at 2:18 pm
Chris and Teresa
We are praying for you sister.
March 24, 2013 at 2:39 pm
josecolon
I and my family will keep you and your family in our prayers for a very healthy return.
You stay in there and show this illness that you are much more better and will succeed
Jose Colon
March 24, 2013 at 3:02 pm
Lisa Cavato
Jessica,
I have met you several times and I am so sorry you have to go through this. You are such an inspiration to me, and you are so positive and your attitude is amazing. You will get through this girl. Keep your chin up! You are still beautiful and keep writing… I love reading your posts… you should seriously consider writing a book. 🙂 All the best to you and I will be praying for you.
Lisa Cavato
March 24, 2013 at 8:13 pm
Leela.
You are sooo tough and amazing:) Thru all this and you can be funny. Know what? Hang in there ,don’t give up for this too shall pass. And you’ll always be beautiful with or without hair. Keep da faith. Prayers are with you.
March 24, 2013 at 10:03 pm
Zack Stein
Hi Jessica,
I’m sure you don’t remember me. I worked for WDBO for a few years, and would see you out often as we’d cover the same stories. I just learned about your ordeal. I’m sending you many good thoughts and praying for a speedy recovery. You are brave, and your writing is inspirational and amazing to read.
Please know there are many of us out here behind your all the way.
March 24, 2013 at 10:59 pm
Allen Long
You are truly a very strong soul. You inspire many to be as calm as you in such a tough situation. We all miss you in the morning but we know you will be there again soon. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
March 25, 2013 at 10:16 am
Georgia
Praying for your speedy recovery. Hang in there and positive attitude makes a world of difference.
March 25, 2013 at 11:58 am
Brian Foster
Most of us can’t imagine what you’re going through, we’re here on your blog because you’ve allowed us into your life as you work through this. I have read the comments and have seen the word “inspiration” in many of them. People don’t use that word lightly, and we know that once you beat this, you will continue to inform and amuse us in your own way. That’s why we all care about you – because you’re YOU!! Prayers for you and your family ..does the tube hurt?
March 25, 2013 at 12:54 pm
Bruce Clukay
Jessica,
We appreciate you and all you give to our families each day with your brightness and full spirit. We are all sending lots of care and well wishes to help through all the hard. I know I speak for the community and the thousands that think of you each day!
March 25, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Shari
Hi Jessica,
We have missed seeing your face and giving Eric a hard time in the mornings. You are VERY inspiring and appreciate you sharing this with your viewers. In all honesty, you and the rest of the team have become our family. You’re in our home every morning. Keep the faith knowing “This, too, shall pass”. Praying for a speedy recovery.
March 25, 2013 at 4:59 pm
Brittany
You have a gift for writing! I am glad I found your blog, but sorry for what you are going through. I will continue to follow it and wish you the best during this process! I am sure there will come times when you feel you don’t have an ounce of fight left in you, but stay strong and rely on those around you for support! Praying for you!
March 25, 2013 at 5:55 pm
Liz
Jessica, you are a beautiful, strong woman. I am praying for you to make a complete recovery. You will continue to look beautiful even if you lose every hair on your head! Remember – you are a wonderful person. God has a purpose for you to fulfill here on earth so you are going to make it through this!
Liz
March 25, 2013 at 7:43 pm
JON L
It took about two weeks I think for me to lose my hair. I did not actually notice it at first. I was just sitting around thinking that my beard is not growing very fast anymore… then it clicked that maybe it had begun. I grabbed what little stubble I had and it came out without a fight. I immediately reached up and grabbed a pinch of hair from the side of my head and it just came right out. I pulled maybe two or three different times before I fell asleep (the Ativan and Benadryl they gave me before the CHOP-R cocktail put me to sleep). When I got home and looked in the mirror there were perfect bald spots where I had pulled. It was off to the shower to take it the rest of the way off.
Don’t sweat it, you’re strong and beautiful. Hang in there.
March 25, 2013 at 11:39 pm
voiceofarealist
you are a strong and courageous young lady…bless you…from both myself, and my husband Rick…You are one of his favorite news anchors… he is a news fanatic. He says if he knew where you were, he’d give you a big hug…just because he is a big believer in hugs….Take good care of yourself, so we may enjoy you back on the news….
March 26, 2013 at 12:55 am
mary hicks
Jessica; my prayers are with you. I was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer that mets to my left thigh bone which totally shattered. After a rod placement and numerous pins placed I went through 15 rounds of radiation and 14 months of chemo, and a kidney removal All looked well until 3 months ago when the tumors came back with a vengeance. I am now back on a different type of chemo and zometa.
I really just wanted to say your writings are inspirational to us all. Please remember to always keep a positive outlook. It’s ok to have down days, but just don’t let them keep you down. We all must fight a good fight and keep going.
May God Bless you!
April 3, 2013 at 12:36 am
Everette
Jessica, hope you are feeling better after round 1. You are a strong young lady with a great sense of humor and we miss you. We are praying for your recovery and look forward to seeing you again.
April 5, 2013 at 12:28 pm
Cindy Bostwick
Jessica, May the Peace of the Lord be with you!
FYI: The Lake/Sumter Unit of Relay For Life, is hosting a Relay event on Saturday, April 20, at Christian Home and Bible School in Mount Dora. Relay For Life is an event to raise money for the American Cancer Society. We would love to see your co-works come out and walk a lap in support of YOU!
April 5, 2013 at 10:36 pm
Charles
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
God bless
April 6, 2013 at 12:45 am
Doreen DelGatto Nichols
I am a 17 year survivor of breast cancer. God Bless you on your journey! There is life after cancer~
April 6, 2013 at 10:46 pm
JR Palmer
Jessica, Theresa and I are praying each and every day for you. We have never met but when we moved here this past November we watched different news channels and we said we found our channel when we came across you and Julie and the rest of the team. I have reached out to a very special lady that was in Indianapolis and she is an inspiration to everyone, her Name is Deanna Dewberry and she has cancer. We have followed her for sometime now and I asked her if she would reach out to you and she said she would. She is a great woman. I follow you on facebook so if at anytime you need someone just to listen give me a shout. Your friend JR
April 8, 2013 at 2:27 pm
Nicole
Dear Jessica, my name is Nicole… i know im a little late on it but i just read that you have cancer. my grandmother who will be 75 in september was diagnosed with colon cancer the same day that my stepfather passed away, two weeks ago tomorrow.. my grandmother is a strong, bullheaded woman. Cancer is an ugly thing but i believe that both you and my grandmother will beat the crap out your cancer… Stay strong…
April 9, 2013 at 7:54 pm
Bruce
Hi Jessica, Welcome to the NHL Club (not that anyone wants to be a member). I’ll be three years in remission come September. I was diagnosed with stage 4 and my spleen was effected. Sending you love, hugs and prayers for a speedy recovery!!! Bruce from Ocala 🙂
April 11, 2013 at 10:00 pm
Kathy Beaver
Hi, Jessica. Took some looking, but I found your blog. I want to keep up with you since I saw the piece where you shaved your head. Time to update this blog, girl! I had been wondering where you had disappeared to on the morning traffic report.
I want to send you a card, but think it will get to you at the station. Take care and keep us posted.
May 4, 2013 at 2:15 am
john
Here vacationing from Nova Scotia Canada and saw this article on your newscast this evening……I was diagnosed with NHL in 2006 when I received treatment……but here I am 7 years later vacationing in beautiful Florida Orlando\Kissimmee….still living with NHL but enjoying life….stay strong!!!!