I’m sure anyone reading this is already an excellent driver. You probably don’t really need this heads up because you’re not one of those impatient jerks whose rage compels them to ride people’s bumpers because you think everyone on the road – except you – sucks at life. But perhaps you’ll want to pass this info along to some of your friends who lack the kind of driving finesse you’ve honed over the years.

FHP has given me a list of where they’ll be watching for drivers who don’t drive as well as you do this holiday weekend. They call it their “speed enforcement detail” (whatever you do, DON’T call it a speed trap… troopers HATE that term!). Trooper Kim Montes says they have no problem giving out this information because – believe it or not – it’s not about writing the most tickets, it’s about getting people to slow down in these areas. And she’s not saying that to sound like the “good cop.” There’s really no incentive for FHP to write more tickets because they don’t get any of the proceeds, it’s just more paper work for them. So watch your speed and your aggression in the following areas during the day (I’d also say watch your drunk driving but if you’re doing that I’d rather you get caught).

Wednesday – Osceola County: 417 @ I-4
Thursday – Orange County: I-4 @ Lee Rd.
Friday – Volusia County: I-4 @ MM 108
Saturday – Brevard County: SR 528 @ I-95

In some cases you may not see the troopers, that’s because they actually clock from an airplane. Seriously. There are markers on the roads and – using a good old-fashioned stop-watch – they’ll time how long it takes for cars to get from one marker to the next. When they time a car that’s driving like it’s trying to jump an open drawbridge they’ll radio it to the troopers on the ground and BAM! Lights and sirens. The careless driver is left to ponder if he/she can still return that expensive radar detector to pay for the ticket.

Drive safely this weekend and have a happy Thanksgiving!!!