So here I am, at 3am, like a child so excited about the first day of school I can’t sleep. Normally I’d be getting ready for work at this time but Monday is going to be a paperwork day, so I come in at 9. I’ve been gone for almost a year so I’m practically a new hire. I have to sign the usual paper work and fill out the forms that a new employee goes through. I hope – for the love of all that is holy – they spare me the sexual harassment video. I think the last time I saw it was back in 2004, when I was first hired at Local 6. Even back then it was so outdated and exaggerated it (ironically) made me uncomfortable
I’ll be starting out on a part-time basis and working behind the scenes. I definitely have to get reacquainted with the traffic system and traffic cams again. I even hear there’s training I’ll have to do with new technology. I’m also curious to see if I’m still able to work the green screen. And more than likely I’m going to start a drinking game for every time someone tells me “it’ll be just like riding a bike!”
My managers have been so wonderfully supportive and understanding. It is as if work is a swimming pool and they’re letting me ease in gently on the shallow end instead of making me do a triple back-tuck off the high dive, which is good because I’m afraid of heights. I have to admit I have moments of anxiety. While I’m feeling TONS better than I did just six months ago, there are still four things that worry me:
1) Chemo brain. It’s a real thing. When you have toxic chemicals pumped into your body on a fairly regular basis it only stands to reason that it’s going to mess with your brain. During treatments my loved ones just got used to me constantly forgetting simple things, like where I put the keys, whether the dog had been fed, what day was my next appointment. And because I was sleeping so much I even started to get my dreams mixed up with reality, which was REALLY weird. I would honestly forget if I made phone calls or had certain conversations in a dream or in real life. Also, reading is one of my favorite things to do! But for the first time in my life I found myself having to go back pages to remember a character – not an easy thing to do on a Kindle, and especially when reading A Song of Ice and Fire (the Game of Thrones books). It’s gotten a LOT better, but I worry sometimes that I’ll be on air, talking my way through a litany of traffic information and just stop mid-sentence, forgetting what I was going to say and, for the life of me, unable to remember.
2) Joint pain. In the months after my last chemo treatment I was hit hard with “chemo-induced arthropathy.” Basically, arthritis. I guess it’s normal. It could even hang around for a few more years. Awesome. There were days I could barely get out of bed, I would limp to the bathroom like I was 125 years old and limp back. It’s not nearly that bad now, but I still have a difficult time bending down because the joints in my ankles and knees practically give out on me. Some days I wake up and I can’t bend my fingers or move my wrists and I think to myself, “How in the hell would I hold a clicker in my hand to change the maps and camera?” I guess we’ll see.
3) Hot flashes. I still get them. I also still get night sweats. It’s not uncommon for me to wake up on a sweat-stained pillow. And several times a day I get so hot I start profusely sweating. It doesn’t matter what the temperature is; my hands could be cold but my head will still sweat. It’s created quite the role reversal in our home because for the first time ever I’M not the one complaining it’s cold :). I tell my boyfriend, “NOW you know how it feels!” Is this what menopause feels like? And does it mean I’m infertile? I try not to dwell on that last question. Instead I just wonder what it’ll look like on air when my face gets shiny and I start dripping.
4) Fatigue. It’s no longer a bone-weary tiredness that I cannot fight off, but I still feel very fatigued several times throughout the day. Sometimes I fight it, other times I succumb to it. Just last Wednesday I laid down to “take a nap” at 7pm and didn’t wake up until the next morning. It actually worried me that that could still happen. 7pm is my typical bedtime when I work on the morning show.
24 comments
Comments feed for this article
January 27, 2014 at 10:03 am
John Galt
You’re going to do fine! I wish I if I had to leave my job people would rally for my recovery and when I was well enough to return wrote letters to my boss urging full-time. Fact is you are we loved by hundreds just because of who you are. Very few will get to experience that kind of appreciation. Embrace it while it lasts, you will do fine!
January 27, 2014 at 10:03 am
Barbara Morley
Go to a knowledgeable nutritionist and follow their recommendations for vitamin and mineral supplements faithfully. Some health food stores will give you valuable information also. The chemo side effects do fade with nutritional help.
January 27, 2014 at 10:42 am
Ed Sigman
It’ll be just like riding a bike. I had to do it. Your going to do great. Wish you luck on the video.
January 27, 2014 at 10:59 am
Mark
Jessica,
You have just gone through the fight of your life. You won by a knockout. This TV thing will be a cinch for you. One day at a time, you have lots of people watching your comeback. Good luck. Looking forward to seeing you in front of that green wall.
Mark
January 27, 2014 at 11:21 am
Lyssa
I believe that if you can fight & beat cancer this whole working, camera & green screen thing will be a piece of cake for you! I have nothing but faith that you will do just fine! Fight on!! 🙂
January 27, 2014 at 11:35 am
Gail Beckwith, Ormond Beach
I am so looking forward to your return to the morning news. You have been missed. Take your time and ease into it. You have gone through so much for such a young age and come through it — the traffic will be a cake walk!!!
January 27, 2014 at 12:04 pm
Sher Vegas-Smith
I am glad to have you back. I am pulling for you
January 27, 2014 at 12:41 pm
Walt Barrows
Wishing you continued good health Jessica! You will continue to get better and the fog and fatigue you fear will fade. Sending prayers foryour continued improvement! : )
January 27, 2014 at 1:20 pm
Brenda f
U are NEVER fighting alone!!!!!!! Much Love ❤
January 27, 2014 at 1:23 pm
Terra
Jessica i have never gone through this but know many people that have. You are so much stronger than you give yourself. Remember the old saying “Dynamite comes in small packages”. You have over come one of the biggest fights of your life. Nothing could compare to that and you have your TV family pushing behind you and all of their love. The public loves you, girl no matter what you got this. Don’t frett the little stuff. You do your best and stop the worrying. You will be awesome. You have inspired so many people before the cancer and still to this day. I know that your strength going through this in public has helped so many people with the will to keep going. Remember GOD doesn’t give us more than we can handle and i believe we are given trials to go through to help others and i believe this you have done so well. Don’t be to hard on yourself. Be your self . Prayers go out to you as you continue your journey. 😉
Terra
January 27, 2014 at 4:38 pm
Larry
I have most of your symptoms also, Jessica, but it’s just from old age! 🙂 So glad to hear you’re back to work and looking forward to seeing you in front of the green screen again. Hang in there! – (Rob & Stephanie’s former neighbor)
January 27, 2014 at 1:50 pm
Connie Yealdhall - Richards
Dear Jessica: Chemo brain,joint pain,hot flashes & fatigue are difficult but you have what it takes to get through all of them. You are a winner in every sense of the word and I look forward to seeing you back on tv. You don’t need any advice from me but I’m giving it any way – – surround yourself with positive people (don’t let anyone put a “downer” on your day) and remember, your public loves you 🙂 !
January 27, 2014 at 1:55 pm
danlmt
continued success Jessica. regeneration is key now with the restorative power of organic nutrition, cellular hydration and organ/tissue cleansing which can EASILY remove the chemo side-effects you are still experiencing. would you like a referral ?
January 27, 2014 at 1:58 pm
Teddie Parmer
Hang in there Jessica . You will do fine. I’ve not been through anything like you. God has given you a second chance at life for a reason. Take care and don’t over due it. Our prayers are with you always!!
January 27, 2014 at 2:35 pm
John
Welcome back Lady!!! Me and others knew you would be back. Yourdetermination strenght faith and courage is an inspiration to all of us…
January 27, 2014 at 2:45 pm
BruceChesson
Jessica, The fact that you will be back at Local 6 and soon back on the air is more than fantastic. Thank you for fighting hard!
January 27, 2014 at 2:58 pm
Kathy
Wow! I am impressed! You are one tough cookie!! So glad that you are better. 🙂 Keep us posted on how things go.
January 27, 2014 at 3:30 pm
Brenda S.
Dear Jessica, Please try not to worry about anything….We had a saying at our house during a cancer battle similar to yours, ” you play the cards you’re dealt .” Now you have won, nothing , I mean nothing , will stop you now….Looking forward to watching you ROAR…..
January 27, 2014 at 4:52 pm
Linda
Just do it! and if any of your worries become real- don’t worry. We have your back. We’ll understand.
January 27, 2014 at 5:42 pm
Joan Klein
body{font-size:10pt;font-family:arial,sans-serif;background-color:#ffffff;color:black;}p{margin:0px;}
Hi Jessica, I am so glad to hear that you are doing better.. me, as a cancer survivor, also have completed chemo treatment. We truly can relate to the side-effects and is a time to pray a lot and be patient. I too am trying to get back in the work field. It is a big challenge. I work on part time basis, a fun business, I have with no stress. I am so glad to not having to drive a distance and listening to someone else telling me what I can and cannot do. I would love to share some stories with you and help you with your stories . I would be willing to meet you for lunch one day. I have joined “The Pink Elephant” and love to support others. After all, for all that we have gone through we are the only ones that truly understand. Hoping to hear from you soon.. Joan Klein joanklein@earthlink.net 386-216-3509
January 27, 2014 at 7:07 pm
Donna Green
Jessica kudos to you for getting back to work. I’m so happy for you that you are cancer free. I know when you hear those words from your doctor it’s an unbelievable feeling. I’m cancer free now six months from my ovarian cancer. I was hit with the chemo induced neuropathy after my treatments ended too. I had arthritis before so it made it worse. I have to use a cane now because I’m wobbly when I walk. I hate that, but when your cancer free, you do what you need to do and not complain right? I am just so happy for you and your outcome. Surviving cancer is not easy and I thank God everyday and St. Peregrine for blessing all cancer survivors. Will be looking for you on the air when you get back full time. God Bless!
January 28, 2014 at 3:15 am
Maddi Blanken
Hi Jessica, Hang in there girl, God has blessed you. you are doing great. You probably have a little stage fright. You have been through so much and you got through it. There is a reason for everything, what you went through has to have made you stronger, By the way I am 58 yrs old and I get out of bed the same way you do. Haha the thing is to keep moving. Thank God we will be seeing your pretty face again on the morning news. Your Best life is ahead of you. God Bless
January 28, 2014 at 3:57 pm
Darcy
Hi Jessica. So glad to hear that you are doing better. At least well enough to be thinking about work again. Please take it slow and steady. We all miss seeing you, but we want you well.
January 30, 2014 at 12:06 am
Marian Knop Elavsky
You’ll do fine Jessica. Just take it slowly. Oh, if you do have that drinking game, let me know so I can join you 🙂